Bradshaw reflects on caregiving, love, support
Editor's note: October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. To focus on this disease that affects both women and men, Meridian Community College hosted the Queen City Race for Life and Street Strut. The event paid tribute to breast cancer survivors, increased breast cancer awareness, and raised funds for the Baptist Anderson Cancer Patient Benevolence Fund.
Three ambassadors for the race were honored this year: Pam Mosley, Taymecca Sears, and Tom Bradshaw. Mosley and Sears are breast cancer survivors; Bradshaw was his wife's caregiver. All expressed their faith as instrumental in their journeys.
When Tom Bradshaw's wife LaDonna went to a routine medical exam, little did the couple
know their lives would be changed forever.
"We absolutely had no idea that there was a problem," he said as LaDonna was diagnosed with breast cancer. "Of course, there was a lot of crying at first, then we went into all the 'what if' stages and questions," he remembered.
It was after the discovery of cancer that Bradshaw would take on the role of caregiver, which oftentimes leads to times of uncertainty. "I just knew that this was going to be a long road to travel, and I had to ensure that she was very well taken care of on all fronts."
That care took on many different forms. Bradshaw and LaDonna would attend the yearly Queen City Race for Life and Street Strut fund-raising events; he was the only spouse to wear a dress and high heels (often sporting a pink wig and tutu) for the Street Strut. "The Bradshaws supported this event faithfully over the years, encouraging others to join in the fun," said Phyllis Holladay, MCC math instructor and Phi Theta Kappa advisor, who helped organize the fundraiser for over 15 years.
Adjusting to being a caregiver wasn't very hard at first for Bradshaw. "But as time went on and the radiation treatments progressed, it became apparent that I would have to do more around the house and make sure LaDonna was comfortable and eating right to help the healing process," he said.
It was a labor of love.
"I do believe the most challenging thing about being a caregiver is the uncertainty and the fact that even doing the day-to-day things, there's still nothing I could do to help her heal any faster. Watching the treatments take a toll on her body was extremely challenging," he said.
Though there were the valleys, there were also mountaintop experiences – such as when LaDonna was declared cancer-free, and her check-up visits to the doctor were to occur once a year. "LaDonna was not a fan of going to the doctor in the first place," he said. To celebrate, Bradshaw took his wife to get a tattoo with her cancer-free date permanently marked.
What advice would he give other caregivers? “Be patient. Understanding the process and doing the daily routines are one thing – just being patient with the loved one is vital. They are going to get sad, happy, confused, and, at times, a little testy. Just be beside them on every step,” he said.
Before LaDonna succumbed to cancer this spring, the Bradshaws had a close relationship; the cancer diagnosis and treatment process gave them a chance to grow even closer.
He added, "We both knew that we were in for a fight and that our relationship with God was our best avenue.”
For more information, visit meridiancc.edu/streetstrut.